Test yourself with this corporate jargon quiz

Make your fellow writers and editors proud. Identify the corporate speak, jargon, and meaningless business terms in the sentences below. Check your answers by scrolling to the bottom.

Quiz

1. Sorry I’m late. I’ve been actioning my deliverables.
2. Writing is clearly not one of your core competencies.
3. The project is already six months behind. Is now a good time to start managing expectations?
4. How can I incentivize you to proofread your own work?
5. Let’s discuss the new employee handbook!
6. No one is leaving this meeting until we ideate about the new ad campaign.
7. As many of you are already aware, happy hour starts at 2:30 p.m.
8. Irregardless of what you say, I will continue to use exclamation points.
9. I just don’t have the bandwidth to take on another writing project right now.
10. It hardly seems fair. Josh gets all the low-hanging fruit.
11. My exit strategy is to sit close to the door.
12. How can I drill down when I’m stuck in meetings all day?
13. I have too much on my work stack to take a vacation this year.
14. I’ll stay late to Powerpoint those FAQs.
15. You and I need to liase about that project after this meeting.
16. Send Sarah to that client meeting. She can persuade anyone to drink the Kool-Aid.
17. We need to open the kimono and find out what’s going on at that branch.

 

Answers

1. “Actioning my deliverables” scores a 10 out of 10 on the corporate jargon scale.
2. Make sure one of your “core competencies” is identifying overused business terms.
3. Beware of anyone who’s trying to “manage your expectations.”
4. Use “motivate” or “encourage” instead of “incentivize.”
5. In this sentence, the exclamation point serves as corporate jargon. (No one is excited about the employee handbook.)
6. Ideate is one of those lazy corporate verbs we all hate. Try “brainstorm” instead.
7. “As many of you are already aware” doesn’t add anything to the sentence. Remove it and jump straight into the sentence. “Happy hour starts at 2:30.”
8. “Irregardless” is not a word.
9. Substitute “time” for “bandwidth.”
10. Instead of the overused “low-handing fruit” consider “easy tasks.”
11. Everyone needs an “exit strategy.”
12. Try “focus” instead of “drill down.”
13. “Work stack” — another meaningless, pretentious term
14. “Powerpoint” is not a verb.
15. “Liase”? Really? Just say “meet” or “get together”
16. One of my favorite corporate terms is “drink the Kool-Aid.” But I don’t think I could bring myself to use it.
17. Please don’t “open the kimono.” Use “explore,” “investigate” or “look into.”

 

How did you do on the quiz, readers?

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