Fortunes for professional writers

I’ve always thought it would be fun to write the fortunes in fortune cookies.

Over the years, I’ve seen some funny ones: “You will be hungry in exactly one hour,” and, “Pass the bill to the person on your left.” I’ve seen preachy ones: “Never miss a chance to keep your mouth shut.” And I’ve seen fortunes that aren’t fortunes at all: “You are able to juggle many tasks.”

So for this week’s post, I’ve written fortunes for writers, editors, and PR professionals—a pleasant surprise is in store for you.

• Hyphens will soon be made clear to you.
• Writer’s block is only a state of mind.
• What’s the sound of one hand typing?
• Speechwriting is not for the weak of heart.
• Write for your readers, not your boss.
• PowerPoint is not a verb.
• Capitalizing the letters in your job title does not make you more important.
• Every activity in your life can’t be “epic.”
• Health care is two words.
• Write simply.
• Sometimes the clown acts run the circus.
• Choose your battles: Insist on the use of the serial comma.
• Write first, edit later.
• An email of more than two paragraphs will not be read.
• “Everybody does have a book in them, but in most cases that’s where it should stay.” (Christopher Hitchens)
• An article of 1,000 words is best written after three cups of coffee.
• Do not be afraid to take risks with new words.
• Bank robbery may be your only option.
• Every time you use an apostrophe to make a word plural, a puppy dies.
• “An exclamation point is like laughing at your own joke.” (F. Scott Fitzgerald)
• Does the information you put in parentheses really have to be in the sentence?
• Write better email subject lines.
• Similes are like metaphors.
• Keep your friends close and your style guide closer.
• A good exit strategy is to sit close to the door.
• Don’t drink the Kool-Aid.

 

This article was first published on Ragan Communication’s PR Daily.

 

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