Fortunes for professional writers

I’ve always thought it would be fun to write the fortunes in fortune cookies.

Over the years, I’ve seen some funny ones: “You will be hungry in exactly one hour,” and, “Pass the bill to the person on your left.” I’ve seen preachy ones: “Never miss a chance to keep your mouth shut.” And I’ve seen fortunes that aren’t fortunes at all: “You are able to juggle many tasks.”

So for this week’s post, I’ve written fortunes for writers, editors, and PR professionals—a pleasant surprise is in store for you.

  • Hyphens will soon be made clear to you.
  • Writer’s block is only a state of mind.
  • What’s the sound of one hand typing?
  • Speechwriting is not for the weak of heart.
  • Write for your readers, not your boss.
  • PowerPoint is not a verb.
  • Capitalizing the letters in your job title does not make you more important.
  • Every activity in your life can’t be “epic.”
  • Health care is two words.
  • Write simply.
  • Sometimes the clown acts run the circus.
  • Choose your battles: Insist on the use of the serial comma.
  • Write first, edit later.
  • An email of more than two paragraphs will not be read.
  • “Everybody does have a book in them, but in most cases that’s where it should stay.” (Christopher Hitchens)
  • An article of 1,000 words is best written after three cups of coffee.
  • Do not be afraid to take risks with new words.
  • Bank robbery may be your only option.
  • Every time you use an apostrophe to make a word plural, a puppy dies.
  • “An exclamation point is like laughing at your own joke.” (F. Scott Fitzgerald)
  • Does the information you put in parentheses really have to be in the sentence?
  • Write better email subject lines.
  • Similes are like metaphors.
  • Keep your friends close and your style guide closer.
  • A good exit strategy is to sit close to the door.
  • Don’t drink the Kool-Aid.


This article was first published on Ragan Communication’s PR Daily.


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